Before The Fire Inside became what it is becoming today, it was The Journey Home first.
The world of Erest and all its many characters were born in that story during a time when all that I knew was grief and sorrow. It came to me in pieces. I started The Journey Home with a destination in mind but as far as the journey to get there, I had no clue. I picked up a pen and paper and just started writing. Within a couple of days I had six characters on their own journey. No outline. No plot. I just let the pen take me wherever it led.
The story was an allegory of my life and all of the emotions I felt during one of the darkest periods of my life.
Eight hundred handwritten pages later, I discovered things that most authors already know. Characters tend to take on a life of their own as you write, and I found myself surprised by some of their dialogue and decisions. I remember one chapter in particular that went in a completely different direction than I had intended. I couldn’t figure out how I had gotten there, but I knew after I reread it that I couldn’t change a thing. Unless you’re a writer it’s probably not something you would understand, but it’s true nonetheless.
Another thing I learned is that a plot is integral to a book. The plot developed as I wrote and I made notes in the margins of what needed to change later as new threads developed. Eight hundred handwritten pages and I had no idea where it needed to go. So I shelved it for almost a year before I began rewriting it.
Inspiration comes from the strangest things.
For me it was the song Weatherman by Tori Amos. The narrative centers on a grieving widower who has lost his wife. Devastated by her death, he refuses to move on or seek new love, choosing instead to remain entirely devoted to her memory. Tori Amos described the song as a story about a man whose love runs so deep that time stands still for him — he isn’t looking for a resolution, choosing instead to stay connected to his wife through the living world around him.
One line stopped me completely. The image of a man begging someone to paint his love back to life.
The song played on repeat as I wrote The Painter, which became the prologue of the book. I think I must have written at least ten different revisions because it never changed from what it is today. I felt every line, every word, and I hope you feel it as well. It was a moment of no turning back for me. Originally a short story of only three pages, it became the moment The Journey Home became The Fire Inside.
For the next month before ever picking up the pen again, I outlined the entire book starting with the ending. Afterwards I took a journal and created the entire cast of characters — descriptions, storylines, and I personally interviewed each one of the main characters.
In one sense it was the beginning of the journey home for me personally. I found healing as I began to write. The main story of the book surrounds Missy Haines, but the book is so much more. It is a story of grief, surviving that grief, and what happens to a life when there is healing and restoration.